6/20/16 – Louisiana

Course: City Putt Miniature Golf Course
Location: 8 Victory Ave, New Orleans, LA 70119
Price: $8 for 18 holes.

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My visit to City Putt Miniature Golf

Review: I’ve been here before! While making my itinerary, I forgot that I had visited this course about three years ago. And let me tell you, just like the horrifying portrait of my father that I keep hidden in my attic, this place hasn’t aged a day! City Putt Mini Golf is a blissful slice out of the Louisiana Cajun Dixieland bayou. And while most of that last sentence was just a string of words I found on the New Orleans Wikipedia page, my point is still valid. The course was filled with leafy bayou ferns and fronds; raucous jazz music blared from every speaker; and statues of New Orleans cultural figures filled the entire course. In terms of overall Louisiana aesthetic, this place was spot on. So much so, that I was astonished to discover that Bourbon Street was three miles away. I thought I was there the whole time!

Moreover, just like the horrifying portrait of my father (who whispers harsh truths into my ear as I desperately try to sleep), this place was also really informative. Throughout the whole course (underneath blissfully refreshing mist-machines) were factoids about different New Orleans streets and Louisiana cities. Recently, many people have praised the musical Hamilton for teaching American history in a uniquely accessible manner, but I’ve gotta say, City Golf beat them to the punch. If college microeconomics was taught using fact placards on a mini golf course, I may have actually passed the class my first time around.

Were there downsides to this course? Of course. Several holes were flooded by a torrential downpour that I had, earlier that afternoon, spent an hour blindly driving through (deathly terrified at every moment that I would drive into the the Gulf of Mexico; it was, in layman’s terms, “so scary”). Should a mini golf course located in the middle of swamp country have a better drainage system? Yeah, probably. The fact I had to get my Asics sneakers wet during a round on the links is (almost) unforgivable. But, in the end, City Putt was yet another tremendous venue that undeniably merits consideration for the nation’s best mini golf course.

A side note: On my drive over to City Putt, in the middle of the cataclysmic storm, I am ashamed to admit that there were brief, fleeting moments where I wondered whether this was all worth it. Is it worth sleeping in a different cheap, fleabag motel every night? Is it worth spending more, daily, on mini golf than I do on food? Is this a good idea? Seriously, is this a good idea? What am I trying to prove? Really, who needs a comprehensive guide of the nation’s best mini golf courses? What the hell am I trying to prove?

But, as I ate beignets and watched the sun set over the French Quarter, I realized these fears were short lived. Of course it’s all worth it.

People need to know where to find America’s best mini golf course.

Course Score: 50; Par – 41.
Pros: Great Dixieland aesthetic, informative and fun, mist machines blocked the heat, very close to downtown New Orleans.
Cons: The course was flooded at times, the holes were not as complex as previous courses.

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